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How to find a French pen pal for your child

The safest way for a child in the UK to get a French pen pal is through adults who know both sides: a class exchange run by their school, your town’s twinning association, or friends and family in France. A few small services also match children by post, with parents involved. Open pen pal sites and apps, where anyone can message anyone, are mostly used by adults and aren’t the place to start. Here is where to look, what to check, and what to write first.

Where to look

1. Your child’s school

Many primary and secondary schools write to a partner class in France. A teacher on each side pairs the pupils, and the letters can travel together in one parcel between the schools, so no home address changes hands. If your child’s school doesn’t have a partner, the French teacher can look for one with the British Council’s free Partner Finder, which lists schools overseas looking for a partner school.

2. Your town’s twinning association

Many British towns and cities are twinned with one in France: Bath with Aix-en-Provence, Birmingham with Lyon, Bristol with Bordeaux, and many more (Wikipedia keeps a list). Twinning associations are run by volunteers who know families on both sides, and some can put children or schools in touch. Ask yours: the town or parish council can tell you who runs it.

3. Friends and family in France

A friend, colleague or relative with a child of about the same age is often the easiest match of all. The parents already know each other, and the letters can lead to a video call or a visit.

4. Matching services for children

A few small services match children by post. Two we found, described from their own pages:

  • La Petite Poste, by Paris for Kids, pairs children in France with children in North America and beyond, by age, French level and interests, and the letters go by post. Its page gives no prices or ages, so ask whether it matches children in the UK.
  • Penpals4Kids, by French Lessons4Kids, pairs English-speaking and French-speaking families. Letters go by post, or are handwritten, scanned and emailed, and parents support every exchange. It is open to families in its Lessons4Kids International Club.

We have no link with either service and haven’t used them. Check them as you would any other.

Before you sign up: what to check

  • An adult on each side. A teacher or a parent at both ends, who can reach the other one.
  • Letters through an adult at first. Through the school, or a parent’s address. Share your home address once both families are happy.
  • No private messaging to start with. No apps, no social media, no phone numbers until the parents agree.
  • A pen pal who matches. Close in age, and at a level where each can read the other’s letters.
  • An easy way to stop. Pen pals drift apart. That’s fine, and a child should know they can say so.
  • Read the first letters together. It helps with the French, and you’ll see early if something feels wrong.

What to write in the first letter

Keep it short and friendly: who you are, where you live, what you like, and a question or two so your pen pal knows what to answer. These lines will get a beginner started:

  • Je m’appelle Oliver et j’ai dix ans. My name is Oliver and I’m ten.
  • J’habite à Leeds, en Angleterre. I live in Leeds, in England.
  • J’ai une petite sœur et un chien. I have a little sister and a dog.
  • J’adore le foot et le dessin. I love football and drawing.
  • Et toi, qu’est-ce que tu aimes faire? What about you, what do you like doing?
  • Écris-moi vite! Write back soon!

For greetings, sign-offs and a whole model letter to a pen pal, see how to write a letter in French. A picture, a postcard from your town or a recipe to try makes the envelope more fun to open.

While you wait for a pen pal

Finding a match can take a while, and replies don’t always come. Lettres de France isn’t a pen pal service: your child won’t be matched with another child. But every month Nathalie, a former French teacher from Paris, writes them a real letter in French about one piece of French culture, posted from England, with an English translation, an audio reading and activities. You can see what’s inside on the letters we’ve sent so far.

Questions

How do you say pen pal in French?

A pen pal is "un correspondant" (a boy) or "une correspondante" (a girl). To write to each other is "correspondre". The same word is used for the French pupil a British pupil is paired with on a school exchange.

Is it safe for my child to have a French pen pal?

It can be, when an adult on each side set it up: a teacher, a twinning association or a family you know. Letters go through the school or a parent at first, and there is no private messaging until both families agree. Open pen pal sites and apps, where anyone can contact anyone, are mostly used by adults and aren’t the place for a child to start.

Should my child write in French or in English?

When the pen pal is learning English, a good rule is half and half: each child writes part of the letter in the language they are learning, so both get practice and both can follow. A beginner can start with a few French sentences and add more each time.

How do I find a French pen pal through my child’s school?

Ask the French teacher. Many schools already have a partner class in France. If not, the teacher can search for one with the British Council’s free Partner Finder, which lists schools overseas looking for partners.